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Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Anxious? Do you find it difficult to stay focused or keep control over your emotions? In today’s fast-paced society we are overworked, constantly distracted, and chasing the unrealistic concept of “work life balance.” That's why it can seem nearly impossible to find stress relief strategies that actually work!
This article will teach you a super quick and easy stress relief strategy known as ‘The 5 by 5 Rule.’
Causes of Stress
Stress and anxiety are hot topics these days and it seems that almost everyone around us experiences them in some form or fashion.
The research on stress has found that a lot of the stress and anxiety in our lives (not all) come from these main things:
- Being constantly distracted
- We're overworked
- Stressing over things OUT of our control
- Stressing over things that don't matter
Let's break each of these down in more detail, then we can discuss some stress relief strategies, like the 5 by 5 rule, that are easy to implement and will help you regain balance and beat burnout!
Constantly Distracted
One work email comes through… first, your apple watch vibrates - Second, your phone *dings* simultaneously, while a push notification grazes across the top of your laptop screen. Sound familiar? All for ONE email - now, let's add texts, reminders, phone calls, and social media notifications.
Heck, sometimes I get push notifications from apps I didn't even know I had on my phone! These days we rarely go even ONE HOUR without getting a notification that pulls our attention away from the task at hand. It doesn't help that we have multiple apps all competing for our attention throughout the day.
Applications (especially social media) make money from how much time you spend using it, so they are incentivized to distract and lure you to their app - and they are really good at it! This makes it really difficult to stay motivated and focused.
Tips:
- Set time limits on your social media apps
- Disable push notifications on your devices
- Keep your phone in the other room
Overworked
On top of all the distractions thrown at us, it seems that our work hours have been extended far past what is reasonable. After shifting more to remote work, our boundaries of work and life have become blurred.
Our kitchens became work offices and we inadvertently became more available and accessible than ever before.
We used to close our laptops at 5:00pm, but now we respond to work emails while cooking dinner and putting our kids to bed. This “always-on” culture can have detrimental effects on our mental health and feeling of “balance”. This makes the need for stress relief strategies, like the 5 by 5 rule (below), more important than ever!
Tips:
- Set boundaries with your boss and employees about your work hours
- Stop replying to emails after hours (unless urgent)
- Turn off your work notifications and devices after your work day is finished
Out of Our Control
Quick exercise: take 1 minute to reflect on what makes you feel stressed or anxious. Becoming aware of what triggers these feelings is the first step in creating a plan to overcome them!
Whether its political and economic uncertainties, other people’s opinions, or the biggest culprit.... worrying about future outcomes that haven’t even happened yet - most of what causes stress and anxiety are completely out of our control.
Once you have created the list of your triggers, note whether they are IN your control or OUT of your control. You will likely find that very few are directly IN your control.
Let's take other people's opinion's for example... they can be SO unpredictable. Any parent knows that you could do everything "right" and your toddler will STILL have a meltdown.
Yes, outside factors will still make us stressed and anxious (as much as I wish I could remove that from you) - what's important is recognizing that its out of our control and SHIFTING our attention instead, to the things we CAN control. The good news is, the list of things you can control is short so it will give you a narrowed focus on what to spend your energy on.
Things you CAN control:
- Your thoughts
- Your actions/behaviors
- Your effort
- Your schedule/calendar/boundaries
That’s it! Short list right there.. and the good news - there are a lot of strategies to help you regain control over these. You can learn how to use them in a way that fuels you forward, which may also help reduce stress and anxiety too. The 5 by 5 rule is a great way to help with this!
Tips:
- Do the exercise mentioned above
- Focus only on what you can control
Things that Don't Matter
Often times we stress about things that won't matter in the long run. When life feels extra chaotic or overwhelming, it can sometimes feel like we are just trying to survive each day. This can make it difficult to view our life in "future-state." Staying connected to your future vision is critical not just for your goals and habits, but also as a way to reduce stress and anxiety.
Next time you feel yourself getting upset, ask yourself if it will matter 1 year from now, or even a month from now. If the answer is NO, then try not to let it consume your time and energy.
Tip: Take note of whether your triggers ACTUALLY matter - be honest!
Stress Relief Strategies
Here are some additional stress relief strategies - that are also easy to implement - and will help boost your well-being! Don’t worry about implementing ALL of these, just pick one or two and try them out to see if they work, or rotate them throughout your week.
The 5 by 5 Rule
“If it won't matter in 5 years from now, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it”
Remember: this rule does NOT say “if it won't matter in 5 years, then forget about it immediately” - it is not to be misinterpreted to disregard your feelings/emotions - doing that could lead to another set of issues.
When you get upset, allow yourself to LEAN INTO YOUR EMOTIONS, feel ALL of your feelings - you are allowed to be angry, mad, hurt, sad, frustrated, etc. - your feelings are justified. After the five minutes, PROCESS IT, LEARN FROM IT, and then MOVE ON.
If the answer to to the 5 by 5 question is YES IT WILL MATTER IN 5 YEARS, then by all means take as much time as you need to process your emotions. Just make sure you also focus on coming up with a plan to move forward.
This 5 by 5 rule is a great stress relief strategy and is easy to implement. For additional stress relief strategies, see below!
Mindfulness and meditation
Take a few minutes each day to sit in silence with yourself and let your brain process your feelings and thoughts WITHOUT distractions. A great time to do this is first thing in the morning before grabbing your phone. Your brain is in the most creative state (theta state) first thing in the morning.
Exercise regularly
Physical activity is a great way to release endorphins and reduce stress. If you can't fit in a whole workout, just do a quick 5 minutes. Just move your body - this is especially important if you are sitting in a chair all day.
Another great alternative is TAKE A WALK - daily walks have a number of health benefits you can learn from the article below.
Quality sleep
Create a night time routine and prioritize getting 7-8 hours a night to help you recharge.
Tips: make sure your room is cold and dark; try not to use your computer/devices in bed and allow yourself to "wind down" at least 30 minutes before you need to fall asleep.
Trouble falling asleep? Try meditating before bed!
Maintain a healthy diet
Focus on foods high in antioxidants packed with vitamins. Inflammatory foods can have a detrimental effect both physically and mentally - so focus on goods that are full of nutrients. Gut health is super important for maintaining a healthy body and mind - check out the list of recommended foods below.
Set boundaries
Learn to say NO to commitments that overwhelm you and don't serve you. Instead, prioritize self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Tips: Disable notifications on your devices and set time limits on your apps. When it comes to work and relationships, you need to have the difficult conversations to set boundaries.
Connect with loved ones
Building strong relationships with friends and family can provide emotional support during challenging times and help reduce feelings of stress. Humans desire connection with other people so reach out to a friend or family!
Tip: Try to make it a weekly habit to reach out and connect with a friend. This can be a great way to reignite relationships with old friends!
I hope these stress relief strategies help bring you more peace and balance!
Wrap It Up
To alleviate stress and anxiety, we must first understand what is causing it. Whether its from being constantly distracted or worrying about things that don't matter, stress is EVERYWHERE. Be intentional about how you spend your time and energy - and focus on the stress relief strategies that work best for you.
Implementing these stress relief strategies to help you regain balance and take back control over your well-being!
**This article is not to downplay other causes of stress like prior trauma, there certainly are many other serious causes of stress that are not discussed in this article.
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